Fear of abandonment & trust.


Fear of Trust

 

Very common with complex trauma survivors.

 

Throughout my work, as an admin on my community support page, fear of trust - is something that has become apparent as a very common consequence, of complex trauma, abuse and child abuse.

 

This can have a very profound affect on the lives of survivors.

 

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, increases the severity of this, with the PTSD brain being so overprotective and anything that signals as danger, becomes a very complex issue to manage.

 

I personally, have huge trust issues.

 

 

Fear Of Abandonment

 

 

This is also very common with complex trauma survivors and affects life and relationshops, considerably.

 

Some survivors, push people away continually, rather than fear losing them.

 

Some survivors, stay isloated and rarely form close relationshops, due to the fear of being abandoned.

 

I have been someone who has taken the blame, rather than lose people I love.

This has been a big part of my life in the past.

Having been blamed and had scapegoating abuse from my family, I have taken blame that was never mine to feel, or own.

I learned that in order for my family to not reject me, I couldn't question this blaming.

So, on into adulthood, I have taken the blame, rather than voice my reasons for why I am not to blame, for fear of abandonment.

Fear of abandonment, was greater than the fear and reality of being blamed for something that was not my fault.

Abandonment fear, is a very real, deeply painful symptom of Complex PTSD.

I am addressing this, and I have changed this thinking pattern, but it was only through counselling and realising so many of the belief systems I learned growing up in my highly dysfunctional family, had created this deep fear of abandonment and what I will sacrifice to avoid this.

 

In Complex PTSD - Fear of abandonment also creates abandonment depression and grieving.

 

In Complex PTSD - fear of abandonment does not lead to acting out and trying to manipulate others, or threaten suicide, frantic attempts to avoid abandonment. Those are traits of Borderline Personality Disorder. Fear of abandonment for those with Complex PTSD is experienced differently.

 

In Complex PTSD - It leads to withdrawal, depression, grieving and a terrible sense of aloneness. 

 

* Please note, I do suggest trauma focussed counselling, for all symptoms and issues related to trauma and abuse.

 

 

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Author Lilly Hope Lucario   All rights reserved.

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